There's a new scent of fraud and corruption sweeping across Alaska. It has a new look and this time it's wearing perfume instead of cologne, but it still can't hide the awful stench.
For years the state of Alaska and an oil rich lobbyist, were used like a personal ATM machine by the good old boys, later coined The Corrupt Bastards Club. You've heard of them. It's the gang of thugs and thieves that included, 11 lawmakers, businessmen, lobbyists and former Senator Ted Stevens. Many were indicted on federal charges and others like Don Young and Ben Stevens are still expected to be. Sarah Palin claimed to have taken on the "good old boys" but the fact is she had nothing to do with their downfall or the investigations.
Besides the fact that Sarah didn't arrive in office until after most of the evidence against these fools had been collected, the other fact she REALLY doesn't want people to know about is her connections with the infamous Bill Allen. Bill Allen and his ahem, "contributions" to these folks are what the investigations and subsequent indictments were all about. Everyone considered to be associated with the Corrupt Bastards Club was also involved with taking money from Bill Allen and VECO. Sarah Palin also took a lot of money from Bill Allen and VECO. In fact, it could be said that without Bill Allen and VECO, nobody in this country outside of Wasilla would have ever heard of Sarah Palin.
In 2001, still delusional about her disastrous performance as Mayor of Wasilla, Sarah Palin decided she would make a good Lt. Governor. Considering she managed to botch up everything she touched as Mayor, she figured she would not only need someone to bankroll her campaign, but some serious clout behind her as well. So she set off to the house of the most crooked influential person she knew, VECO CEO Bill Allen to sip some wine and talk about her future. Shortly thereafter money came pouring into her campaign at $500 a pop over a 2 day period, from Bill Allen, his executives and their spouses. Bill Allen has admitted the company steers its donations through a "special bonus program" in which executives received money and the company instructed them to donate it to favored politicians. Their contributions totaled $4,500 which represented 10% of all the money raised for her campaign.
With her abysmal record as Mayor of Wasilla still fresh in Alaskans mind, her bid for Lt. Governor failed in 2002 but she learned from the experience. In 2005 she went back to feed from the trough of big oil money again in making her run for Governor and the rest is history. With her successful bid for Governor firmly in hand, along with most of the good old boys facing federal charges, we now had a new gang of thugs in town to take advantage of everything that Alaska has to offer. They were a prettier, better smelling version of the same old song and dance that I like to call the Corrupt Bitches Club.
Let's take a look at some of the players:
Aliases: Grifter, Grandma, Mooselini
Known For: Quitting, Word Salads, Tax Dodging, Lying
Last Seen: Swindling money from retarded folk
Master manipulator, head bitch and grifter extraordinaire, former half term, half wit, half Governor of Alaska. She's not only fashionable, but has the audacity to preach abstinence after screwing the largest state in the country. Known to have taken money from VECO, found guilty of Abuse of Power by the legislature and gave $500 million dollars of state funds to her friends in Canada. Stated that Obama began his political career in "a terrorists living room" while forgetting to mention she started hers sipping wine in the living room of Bill Allen who has been convicted on multiple counts of felony bribery. First important act in office was to appoint over 100 friends from high school, church and political contributors to high level positions "without apparent regard to qualifications."
If Found: Approach with extreme caution and Taco Bell crunch wraps. Sarah has been know to smile diabolically while driving a knife into your back. Contact the FBI or the IRS as they may have some questions for her
Aliases: The Valley Tycoon
Known For: Being Director of Everything
Last Seen: Matchmaking for Chucky Jr.
Sarah's protector and security blanket. Has been fawning over and preening Sarah since her beauty pageant days. Likes to use the word "nifty" when asked what she thinks about the Palin debacle known as AGIA. Has a B.A. in Elementary Education, yet somehow manages to be on the Board of Directors for seemingly every medically related operation (CFO; Palmer/Wasilla Dental Centers, President; American Cancer Society, Director; Valley Hospital Associations, Founder; Mat-Su Mental Health Foundation, Executive Director; Mat-Su Health Foundation, Board of Directors; Mat-Su Regional Hospital) in the valley. When Sarah began to get into trouble as Governor, Linda decided to run for Senate so she could help to protect her protege'. After running roughshod over Lyda Green and convincing her to pull out of the Senate race, she's been the prime sponsor for such incredibly important bills as SB58 establishing Marmot day instead of Groundhog day (even though groundhogs are of the marmot family), SB43 adopting a second verse to the Alaska state song (a bill that had been killed twice before) and last but not least SB210 addressing Municipal Property Tax Exemptions (that should save Sarah a few bucks).
If Found: Beware, she will do anything to protect Palin. Ask her why she isn't doing anything to stop the eradication of her beloved marmot that's going on now, from Sud Island north of Kodiak. Contact the Legislative Budget and Audit committee (which she is a member of) to find out why the Matanuska Creamery audit/investigation has been stalled.
Aliases: Kristan Tanner, Kristan Moseley, KC Moseley
Known For: Phony Fundraising, Covering Tracks
Last Seen: Suffering from enormous stress
The go to girl for anything Sarah doesn't want to dirty her hands with. Learned all the ins and outs of fraud, forgery, embezzlement and money laundering of Trust Fund money from her mother Cheryl King/Moseley. Known for her uncanny ability to orate falsehoods, insatiable greed and lack of being able to keep promises or put together quarterly reports. She's sole trustee of the Alaska Fund Trust, the personal slush fund for the Palin family, which was found by the investigator hired by the personnel board to be unethical and/or illegal, yet still continues to solicit donations. Appointed to head the Board of Agriculture and Conservation by Palin, a farm regulatory position that by state law must go to someone with strong agricultural and business experience. She continues to run this position with an iron fist, removing anyone who would question her authority, even though her appointment expired in '09. Appointed herself Chair of the Matanuska Creamery, a private dairy that sprung up after the hostile takeover of Mat Maid by the Corrupt Bitches Club, that continues to drain state and federal money at an alarming rate. I guess as a real estate agent, perhaps she sold a farm sometime giving her the qualifications for these positions and it shows.
If Found: Proceed with caution, she can be very dangerous when cornered. Ask her where those quarterly reports are for the Alaska Fund Trust. Contact the BAC and tell them they don't have to put up with her nonsense anymore, her term is expired.
Aliases: The Milkery Maid
Known For: Throwing her considerable weight around
Last Seen: Sucking up to her Father In Law
High school friend of Sarah Palin was appointed as Director for the State Division of Agriculture over 20 other infinitely more qualified applicants, including the Professor at UAF with a degree in Agricultural Economics. Her qualifications were marrying the son of the biggest, baddest dairy farmer in the Valley, the fact she used to work for Kristan Cole and of course, her fondness for cows as a child. A master at hushing people up, she's been known to throw out gag orders on employees like most people throw out contaminated cheese. Has been heard stating "that if the Valley Dairy wanted to get the personal guarantee requirement lifted, we have to pull our last two strings; Kristen Cole and Sarah Palin.", when she isn't busy trying to get fraudulent loans (she has a personal/conflict of interest in) approved by hook or by crook. Rules through intimidation and the slowly diminishing power of her friends listed above. Isn't smart enough to be much of a threat to anyone, once the Parnell administration is voted out of office. She will simply ride off into the sunset with whatever she's been able to help herself to in state assets while in office.
If Found: Use caution and wear nose plugs due to her long time fascination with cows. Turn down any offers of cheese and crackers or a glass of milk. Contact the USDA as they may be interested in having a chat with her.
Aliases: Stapletongue, Motormouth, Bitch
Known For: Selling her soul to the devil, incessant rants
Last Seen: Arguing with Jason Recher cashing large check
The trained attack dog. Once a well liked journalist in Alaska, remembered for nearly getting run over by a reindeer during a broadcast, threw away her promising career after drinking some of the Palin Kool-Aid. Greed, a taste for power and her vindictive nature brought her into the Palin inner circle and allowed her to spew hate, while desperately trying to translate the Palin word salad into something real umerickans could understand for years. Lack of integrity, intelligence or anything resembling being human, reminded Sarah too much of herself and thus Motormouth had to be dismissed. She was able to double and sometimes triple dip, for being able to toss the Palin word salad by releasing a statement or two a month, padding her income nicely from the state with SarahPac payments to her and her husband. She is unlikely to bring much harm to most Alaskans since her dismissal, as long as they don't take a good hard look at her. She was always in way over her head, she was just too greedy to notice.
If Found: Proceed with caution, it's unknown how much bite has been taken out of her bark and you can bet she will bark a lot. If you can muzzle her up long enough, ask her when she's going to write her book. Contact CBS care of 60 Minutes or David Letterman, I'm sure they're both holding time slots open for her.
The big question is, will this group have their own Tshirts printed up as well?
